It’s like horoscopes—but hotter
With Father’s Day coming up, we at FLARE felt there was no better time to celebrate the influential men in our lives. No, we’re not talking about our IRL father figures—we’re talking about our fave celebrity #zaddys. Celeb zaddys—otherwise known as über hot famous fathers we lust over—are relevant all year round. They’re the men we turn to in times of need, that help get us through the darkest *and* thirstiest of times (which let’s be honest, has been all the time as of late), and they’re the only people we can legitimately refer to as “daddy.” (Because, unlike Riverdale’s Veronica Lodge, no adult actually calls their IRL father that.) So they deserve some appreciation too.
But what exactly does your favourite celeb zaddy say about you? As it turns out, a lot. So, are you more of a Stanley Tucci fan or a Daniel Dae (a.k.a. Bae) Kim stan? Read on, because the results are *telling*.
If Barry is your fave celeb #zaddy then you’re definitely one to watch out for. You’re a refined and intelligent individual who’s able to debate your nemeses without a sweat. While you’re undoubtedly academic (and your intelligence is something many people are drawn to), that doesn’t mean that you don’t know how to have fun. You’re notorious for being the first on the dance floor and the last to leave, and you always want to make sure everyone else is having a great time. You’re thoughtful with your words and actions and have an emotional maturity not often shared by your peers. And, you’ve definitely read all the books that show up in the back of your Zoom calls. Oh, and you’re sometimes sincere to the point of being corny as hell, but it’s endearing!
You’re probably also into: Russell Wilson, Eugene Levy, John Legend, Alexis Ohanian and Mahershala Ali
Chris Harrison is the ultimate dad, in the best way. He always has your back, is supportive to no end and doesn’t take any BS, so having him as your fave celeb dad bodes *very* well for your character. You’re definitely a sweet soul who is kind to everyone, but—like Harrison—you won’t tolerate BS from anyone. You’re a hopeless romantic and have a major thing for brunch. You also may or may not have been in a sorority (or have just watched Legally Blonde once a month for the past four years—which, no shade). Essentially, you could be a contestant on the hit Bachelor and Bachelorette franchise.
Read this next: Why Are We So Shocked That Keanu Reeves Is Dating Someone His Age?
You’re probably also into: Ryan Reynolds and John Krasinski
All we can say is you’re chaotic AF. You may be cool and calm on the surface, but underneath, you’re someone who craves disorder and (in the words of Diplo enthusiast Sia) “Cheap Thrills.” You pride yourself on thriving under pressure, be it in work or in your relationships. Also, at some point you’ve thought that of your love for music festivals as a personality trait.
You’re probably also into: Future and Drake
Honestly, we have some serious questions. First of all: why? If Elon Musk and his EDM music gets you hot under the collar, there’s no denying that you’re a brainy individual, but are definitely too smart for many of those around you. You probably often feel misunderstood, but you just have big ideas! You’re a dreamer and nothing or no one (not even sometimes common sense) can hold you back. Your words can sometimes be hurtful to others, but it’s always unintentional—you just tell it like it is. Also, you’re a big proponent for therapy—if only because it’s a place for you to share your big ideas for 50 minutes with someone who’ll just listen.
You’re probably also into: Kanye West, Alec Baldwin and Lakeith Stanfield
Daniel Dae Kim
The Hawaii 5-0 actor is probably simultaneously the cuddliest *and* hottest daddy you’ll come across—which is perfect for you. If you’re into the Always Be My Maybe star, you’re someone loyal and who values trust and dependency in all of your relationships. You love to exercise, for both your mental and physical health, and are generous with your time, but frugal with your cash. And for some unexplainable reason, you’re also super into velvet.
You’re probably also into: Chris Hemsworth, The Rock , Will Smith and Jason Momoa
Read this next: The Men of Crazy Rich Asians Are Hunky AF
If your dream #zaddy is New Girl’s Max Greenfield, then you’re 100% someone who’s into hijinks and isn’t afraid to laugh at themselves. You’re also most likely environmentally conscious, and socially and politically engaged (a given considering you’re into Greenfield, who during quarantine has taken to wearing requisite hipster beanies). You’ve tried to wheel at an open mic and are probably into knitting. Also, you may or may not be trying to brew your own kombucha at home right now and you definitely tried making your own sourdough at the beginning of quarantine.
You’re probably also into: Chris Messina and Donald Glover (a.k.a. Childish Gambino)
Comedian Hasan Minhaj is a newer addition to the list of hunky zaddys, but that doesn’t make him any less important. If you’re into Minhaj, you’re low-key cool (but don’t let it get to your head). You’re ride or die for your friends and loved ones and are willing to go the extra mile to help out someone you love. You may have given up on your creative dreams to move to the big city and work in finance, but you still love to take cooking classes on the weekend (gnocchi is boss), and you can’t wait to be married and move to the suburbs (which at this point, let’s be honest is the most financially feasible option for many of us). Your Spotify playlist is filled with a mix of Gucci Mane and Maggie Rogers.
Oh, and you bought an Apple watch as a guilty pleasure but now can’t imagine life without it.
You’re probably also into: Jimmy Fallon, John Cho and Sendhil Ramamurthy
Could we even talk about celeb #zaddys without talking about the Tooch? The answer is a firm NO. If Mr. Tucci is your choice of sexy celeb fathers, then there’s *a lot* to say about you. Primarily, like the Tooch himself, who has a love for the finer things, like the now infamous negroni, you love going out to eat (which means quarantine has been a real drag for you). This love of quiet luxury extends into almost any facet of your life: bougie scented candles that cost more than your rent? Check. A bottle of home-delivered vino from wine country? Double check. You’re refined as hell. What can we say, you’re an old soul.
Read this next: Welcome to the Stanley Tucci Fan Club
In addition, you might also have a healthy dose of daddy issues and, like Tucci’s character in Easy A, you’re typically calm and collected, but can drop a zinger at the drop of a hat. You also *definitely* have a thing for chest hair in your partners.
You’re probably also into: Pierce Brosnan, George Clooney, Shah Rukh Khan and Anderson Cooper (a.k.a. a silver fox convention—sign us up)
Let’s be honest, anyone who’s into papa Elba just straight up has good taste. Like a Tucci fan, you’re refined—but with an edge (Elba is, after all, a DJ as well as an actor). You’re a sensual person who seeks out pleasure and just wants everyone around them to feel good. You’ve made mistakes in your personal and professional life, but are always the first person to own up to it and grow. You’re not super artistic, but have been known to try dabbling in pottery or music. You also have a pretty decent relationship with your exes (good for you!).
You’re probably also into: Brad Pitt and Bradley Cooper
We love a woke and socially aware, daddy! And if Prince Harry is your cup of piping hot zaddy tea, then you’re probably very much the same. You may seem unassuming and quiet to many, but you have a heart of gold and always do the right thing. You donate directly *to* the cause (instead of purchasing merch with a 10% donation) and are a loyal subscriber to outlets like The New York Times and The Atlantic. You love to have a good time and goof off with friends, but when it comes to getting something done: whether it’s in your career, personal or philanthropic life, you can get straight down to business. Current book on your bedside table: Three Women by Lisa Taddeo.
You’re probably also into: LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Seth Rogen
So many zaddys, so little time! Happy Father’s Day to these dads, we truly do love you.