‘NSFW’ Sex Club Owner Daniel Saynt Answers 20 Sex Questions

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Before I met Daniel Saynt for the first time, I wasn’t sure which “type” of sex club owner he would be. Would he wear a white flowing smock, surrounded by gorgeous women? Or would he wax poetic on the buried beauty that lives inside each of us—a hidden godliness that can only rise to the surface through tantric orgasm? Or, perhaps he’d be a normal dude who just really likes getting it on. It turns out Saynt—creator of The New Society For Wellness (NSFW, get it?), a popular members-only sex club in NYC—is all of the above, except swap the flowing robes for a kilt and harness, and add some gorgeous people of all genders.

Saynt is well-known within the ethical sex-positive community, but his journey to becoming a sex club owner is strange tale. He talks about being deprived of sexual freedoms as a young, bisexual man growing up in the Bronx. He was raised Jehovah’s Witness in a religious household, and for most of his adult life, experienced shame for his attraction to men and women. Only after coming out as bisexual, which led to the end of his seven-year marriage, was he finally able to embrace everything sex has to offer.

To learn learn more about the man behind the sex club, we gave Daniel the Men’s Health MVP 20 questions treatment. We asked him about his personal sex life, the inner workings of running a sex club, and the wild stuff he’s experienced over the years.

1. What was your first experience like at a sex club?

There was baked ziti. I went with my partner at the time to a random location in Midtown [Manhattan]. It was a loft with no furniture and a few rooms with beds. The lights were low, and there was a buffet table. At one point, a woman made an attempt to belly dance. We were the youngest people there and felt totally out of place.

2. From that experience, how did you decide you want to run a sex club?

I came out as bisexual in my thirties. I always knew what I was, but I never felt like there was a place that truly accepted my sexuality. I’d find myself in gay spaces and straight spaces, and each constantly felt like a challenge against what I knew about myself and how I wanted to express myself. NSFW was initially started as a place where I could feel accepted. Where curiosity and a desire to explore would be celebrated. I knew it would be a challenge. I knew I’d be judged by people who didn’t understand the importance of having a place where bisexual people would feel comfortable.

Starting NSFW cost me so much. I lost a best friend in my ex-wife, I had to leave the company I started, and I lost friends and family who didn’t approve of my lifestyle. Over time I became a public figure in the world of sex positivity, which brings its own judgments from people within the community. Most of the time, I was made to feel insane for wanting a place where I felt safe and accepted. I’m blessed to have found a family through the creation of NSFW because there were so many people I lost along the way.

3. What are some of the biggest challenges of running a sex club?

Finding all the condoms at the end of the night…joking. The real challenge comes with managing “Creeper Reports.” Members of NSFW are able to submit issues they have with each other. We then go through a process of coming up with a solution. Usually, it’s smaller things like sending an unsolicited nude picture or someone not taking rejection well, but sometimes we get reports which are really challenging. We aren’t an arbitrator for bad relationships, but many times people will ask us to weigh in on more personal problems. There are times I’m asked to judge someone based on things that happened in places and relationships outside of NSFW.

Daniel Saynt.

Daniel Saynt

4. What are some of the biggest perks of running a sex club?

There’s a specific energy produced from group sex experiences—a vibration from having so many people in one room reaching orgasm and releasing happiness. I can usually feel the vibrations for a day or two after a room has been filled with sex. Even when I’m not having sex, I feel the benefits of a regular flow of pleasure-inducing chemicals like serotonin and oxytocin. I experience less stress and overall feel pretty fucking positive most of the time. When I do get depressed, it feels quick and manageable.

5. What was one of the wildest nights you’ve had at your own sex club?

There are so many nights where I just walk around feeling like I’m watching all my favorite porn live. The mix of bodies and sexualities border on art. We host a yearly night called All Saynts Day. It’s my birthday, and it’s a religious-themed costume party. Everyone comes dressed as a religion of their choice. There were shibari scenes featuring Jesus on the cross, a sexorcism, nude performances with fire, and various sex rituals.

6. What does your everyday, vanilla, Joe Shmo get wrong when he imagines a sex club?

Most people think it’s some kind of free-for-all or they think sex is guaranteed. There’s a belief that it’s all anonymous sex with strangers. That’s not the case.

Most don’t get the community aspects of NSFW or that we have some members who’ve been coming for five years or that many members are friends. There’s a family here and lots of very deep connections and friendships built over years. Thinking it’s just about sex misses the point.

daniel saynt

Saynt at NSFW.

Daniel Saynt

7. So, like, are you a sex god?

Fuck, I hope not. I’d prefer to be a sex Jesus. Just traveling, teaching life lessons, chilling with a group of friends, massaging people with cannabis oil, encouraging others to love a little bit more, and occasionally banging Mary Magdalene with a disciple or two.

8. What’s the difference between having vaginal and anal sex?

When I was less experienced I thought there was a difference, but now that I’ve had a fair share of both, I’d say they are pretty fucking similar. Some are tighter than others, some can take more activity than others, but overall, in my experience, a hole is a hole.

9. How many people have you had sex with?

I stopped counting after 50. If factoring in all types of sex I’m probably over 500 under 1000.

10. What are some things that turn you on?

Scent is a major one, but it’s something I find more attractive in men. Someone who’s a bit more sexually aggressive than me. I love women who know what they want in bed and are vocal. I love great kissers and instant attraction. I love those moments where the sexual energy is palpable, and within seconds you’re making out and fucking moments later.

11. What’s your favorite sex position?

My favorite positions are ones that incorporate double vaginal penetration (DVP). Feeling another man’s penis rub against mine while we share a wanting vagina is just magical. Your bodies sync and you begin rhythmic thrusts to find yourself deeper in a woman. At the end you’re both racing to cum together and just feeling the wetness after is insanely pleasurable. Just thinking about it turns me on.

12. Wildest place you’ve ever had sex?

I was in Sint Maarten with my partner during quarantine. They have natural beach caves there. With no tourists in town, the beaches were completely empty. We’d sneak away during the day to the beach where we’d have sex in the caves. A few weeks after I flew back to NYC, my partner still in Sint Maarten said there was a video going around of one of our beach adventures. I guess someone boating by caught us and filmed a little of our action.

daniel saynt

Saynt at NSFW.

Rodrigo Lizarraga

13. Favorite sex toy?

I have a Love Bot Drill Dildo which I love. It’s a showpiece and the reaction people have to it is priceless. Everyone who sees it always wants to take a photo with it. Plus it’s pretty great as a handheld fuck machine.

I also love my Motorbunny because it’s great for parties and group play. It’s controllable by phone which makes it a lot of fun and gives you total control. I’ve personally had insane orgasms riding one and know plenty of women who’ve experienced the same.

14. Most intense sexual kink?

Before I had NSFW, I was more likely to find hook-ups at The Cock, The Eagle, or Paddles. I was closeted for so long, so I would sneak out and find myself at these spots, getting drunk for hours just to feel the courage to be with a man. The anonymity at first felt empowering, but I’d find myself hooking up with dozens of men some nights. After a while, the mix of insane amounts of alcohol and random cocks just left me feeling empty. It was like I was chasing after acceptance but never finding it. These spots allowed me to disappear, but it also made for a lot of dangerous situations.

My kink was to be used and taken advantage of because I wasn’t able to accept myself when I was sober. The guilt of living that way is what eventually pushed me to come out and accept myself as bisexual. Alcohol became less of a crutch and I stopped needing to be drunk in order to sleep with men. The kink was feeling used, but I eventually learned to experience that in a loving relationship rather than finding it with strangers.

15. Have you ever had sex with a sex worker?

Yes, everyone one should at least once in their lives. Preferably to learn something, but also if you want to try things you may not be able to try with your partner. Always do it ethically and don’t lie to your partner about it. Try to find workers who are independent and in control of their own business.

nsfw clubhouse

Inside NSFW.

Rodrigo Lizarraga

16. Go-to pickup line?

“Can I kiss your boyfriend?”

17. Have you ever had your heart broken?

I’ve been deeply in love twice and had my heart broken both times. While I seem like a heathen who’s constantly fucking, I’m actually happiest when I have a primary partner in my life and prefer when I’m playing with my partner. I’m in a loving relationship now, but you never know when heartbreak might come.

18. When do you know it’s time to end things with a partner?

I always leave relationships when I don’t feel respected or when I’m with someone who knowingly does things to hurt me. I can deal with it a little while, but eventually, I wise up and realize I’m with someone who has stopped caring. I’m usually out the door at that point. You can’t love as wildly as I do without expecting a little pain along the way.

19. What’s your ideal type of relationship?

I need a partner who’s motivated and building their own shit. I’m most attracted to people who want to change the world with their actions. If you’re my partner, you need to be sexually explorative and want to try new things. I love being with someone who treats my body like theirs and takes it when they want it. I love being grabbed and pulled in and held. I love relationships filled with affirmations of our love. It’s important to not only hear the words but to feel them in action. There are so many ways we can show our love, and I like those with the language to show it in all the ways.

20. Go-to dirty talk phrases?

I love looking my partner in the eyes when he’s in me and begging him to breed me or make me pregnant. I love being called a slut and describing how good someone feels when they are inside of me. There’s nothing dirtier than hearing an “I love you” after making someone come more than they ever have before.

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